35: 4chan greentext
While 4chan began in 2003, greentext posts (which tell a little autobiographical story) didn’t appear until 2010, according to Know Your Meme. In 2010 I was 26 years old and thus should be slightly embarrassed by my familiarity with the format. Perfect for this slightly embarrassing project.
4chan greentext
> Be me > Jobs so far: fast food cuck, dishwashing cuck, fast food cuck 2: electric cuckaloo > High school over, not yet college-boy, life just starting > Brightidea.jpg I’ll sell knives > Buy “sample set” > Slices cheese. Slices meat. Cuts a penny in half. I’m in love > Visit family, try to sell them the knives > Nope.jpg > Get a cold, still desperate to sell a knife. Pretend it’s just allergies > Get Grandma sick. When my dad tells me, say “maybe God’s punishing her for not buying a knife” > Summer’s ending. No sales for anon > Finally Mom has an idea > Knife for Dad! > Knife arrives in mail. I sold the product, baby > Pull it out of the box before Dad even gets it > Open knife > Try to close knife > Slip > First blood.wav > Go to college > “Anon, what happened to your hand?” > And that’s why my college nickname was Freddy Crocker
The new elements in this one are fictionalized. No Grandma zinger, no nickname. But as previously recounted, I did get a cold and insist on doing my sales pitch anyway, claiming allergies and sneezing all over my friends’ parents.
Let’s see, what have I liked lately…OK, I’ve been researching “The Monster Mash” for a story, and I’ll post my favorite versions when the time is right. But I discovered this song by the Black Lodge Singers, a drum group from the Blackfeet Nation. They have a kids’ album with songs like “Mickey Mouse” and “The Flintstones” and “Monster Mash,” but they’re not at all those songs! Listen to the first minute of “Monster Mash”:
The lyrics of “Mickey Mouse” have a fantastic “Nintendo tapes” vibe.
But then I cried at their version of “Hakuna Matata,” so!
Enough of the subscribe button, how about you