49: Legal complaint
Legal complaint
My client is one Nicholas Douglas, age 18. In June 2002, my client (straight-A student) served as an independent sales representative of C—— Cutlery Co. C—— has made no secret of its products’ pronounced sharpness, in fact using this quality to justify its unusually exorbitant prices. Despite following C——’s sales instructions to the letter, my client was unsuccessful in selling a single unit of product, until his mother stepped in and purchased one pocket knife (exhibit A) as a gift for her husband, my client’s father.
The product was delivered by postal mail to the client, arriving August 2, 2002, whereupon it was taken into short-term escrow by my client. My client attempted to operate the product in a moving vehicle. This use is not advised against in the packaging nor in the sales material. Said material does advertise the knife’s safety features, including a locking blade. It is this lock that gave my client difficulty as he attempted to close the knife — inarguably an advisable action on his part — and resulted in the wound seen here (exhibit B). Thanks to immediate medical care, my client recuperated enough to appear here today, though at the expense of his shift with his current employer, T—— H—— D——.
We are seeking damages recompensing my client for fifteen minutes of lost airport travel time, five USD in adhesive bandages, emotional distress, loss of confidence, resulting lifelong salary loss of 3 million USD, lost salary from missed T—— H—— D—— shifts totaling 65 USD, and depreciation on the knife.